


I Know They Say Let It Be

by HollyMartins



Series: Ben Solo loves his family [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo is a good dad, Ben Solo loves his family, Domestic, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Original Character(s), Post-TLJ, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyMartins/pseuds/HollyMartins
Summary: Her father—no, her papa—was too quiet, too kind, too...frankly, too emotional to be anything close to a Supreme Leader, particularly for something as cruel as the First Order.___Ben and Rey's eldest daughter considers the ridiculous rumors about her father and his alleged involvement with the First Order.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A quick little fic that I wrote to try to get back into the habit of writing. I've been so bad at writing regularly, it's awful.
> 
> So, I present Rey and Ben's eldest daughter Morrigan's inner monologue as she ponders how anyone can look at her Papa and see SUPREME LEADER. How silly.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and please note that this is not beta-read.
> 
> Remember, comments are love (especially for those authors who don't write often enough and therefore, don't deserve comments but thrive on them nonetheless—not pointing any fingers) and for those who are curious about their childrens' names:
> 
> Morrigan: figure from Irish mythology related to fate and sovereignty
> 
> Jade: cheeky reference to Mara Jade, Luke Skywalker's wife in the Star Wars expanded universe

There were rumors, of course, especially in a village as small as the one they lived in.

But no matter how often the rumors were whispered amongst her playmates, Morrigan just couldn't believe them. They were too ridiculous, too absurd, too funny, honestly.

Her father? The Supreme Leader of the legendary, terrifying, and now defunct First Order? It was too hilarious to even consider as a remote possibility.

Her father—no, her _papa_ —was too quiet, too kind, too...frankly, too emotional to be anything close to a Supreme Leader, particularly for something as cruel as the First Order. Honestly, the man wept the first time he dropped her off at the education center in the village square. It was terribly embarrassing, if not a little sweet.

Papa could not do an intentionally cruel thing if his life depended on it, of that she was certain. The worst Morrigan could think of was when he tramps mud into the house and merely grins and winks when Mama admonishes him for it—though the way Mama dramatically sighs but then smiles as she turns away makes Morrigan think she's not actually angry. They're very odd, her parents.

Plus there was the fact that he suffered from nightmares and honestly, how could someone who needed comforting after a bad dream be evil? If anything, the nights when she was awakened by his crying out in his sleep and Mama shaking him, repeating, "Ben, it's alright, you're home. You're safe. We're safe," made it quite clear that Papa was a bit of a baby. She hadn't needed Mama to hold her after a scary dream in years, thank you very much.

But even if he was a bit of a baby, when Morrigan gazed up at her father, she saw someone who she knew loved her unconditionally. In fact, she had a feeling that his all-consuming love for his family was a bit of a weakness. It made him too over-protective and reluctant to trust. It had taken eons to convince him to allow her and Jade to sleep over a playmate's home and even then, he had arrived barely after dawn to pick them up. Also terribly embarrassing.

And if Morrigan knew anything from her studies, it was that Supreme Leaders weren't supposed to have such obvious weaknesses. It took a bit of conniving and subterfuge to outwit and ultimately overpower them—along with a healthy dose of the Force. And yes, Papa, and Mama, and even Jade did all have the Force (which was completely unfair in Morrigan's opinion), Papa rarely used it, except to entertain his daughters. Even then he was often reluctant.

So really, Morrigan had no idea where her fellow younglings got the idea that her Papa was anything but her Papa. Someday perhaps she would ask him where such outlandish rumors had come from but for some reason, she felt it best not to at the moment. She couldn't help but suspect he wouldn't like to hear about them and if Morrigan knew anything, it was that her Papa needed protecting, for as strong and tall as he was, there was something oddly vulnerable about him. Mama had once said it was his heart and the last thing Morrigan wanted to do was break it.

It would be better to ask Mama instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to continue this story with a continuation of the theme of how Ben and Rey's children would react to the truth about Ben's past with the First Order. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this story but if there is interest, I will definitely try to. 
> 
> This is not betaed so please be kind and remember, comments are love! 
> 
> Say hello over at http://hollymartinswrites.tumblr.com and thank you so much for reading!

Jade ran off when they found out.

It was actually the opposite of what Rey and Ben had anticipated; Morrigan had always been the more sensitive of their two children, more prone to tears and anxiety. Jade rolled with the punches, laughed often, and seemed to shake off despair quickly and effortlessly.

But this time, her young face clouded over and—before her parents could blink—got up and ran, flinging open the front door and disappearing across the grassy fields that their home sat on. Rey recovered first and rushed after her, calling her name and begging Jade to return.

Morrigan watched, her eyes unblinking and her jaw slack, as her mother chased her younger sister until they were small specks in the distance. Suddenly, Morrigan remembered she wasn't alone and turned slowly to gaze up at her father. She started when she realized he was on his knees in front of her with an odd look on his face.

"Morrigan," he whispered in a strained voice, "please."

She blinked and stared at her father, uncomprehending. In what may have been only a few seconds but felt like a strained eternity, Ben Solo's daughter came to a startling realization: for the first time in her young life, she was the one with power—the power to quite possibly change the course of her father's life with a single word. She shivered with the knowledge and the sight of her father so small, so wide-eyed.

Her instinct was to reach out and take his hand but she was struck with another world-shifting realization: her father was a killer.

Her thoughts must have been loud or perhaps they were present on her face, because her father's shoulders slumped and his eyes filled with tears.

"Morrigan," he repeated, his voice thick, "you have to understand."

"Understand what?" she asked, her own voice surprisingly strong for someone whose entire reality had been shattered.

"It was...so long ago and I was a different person...the voices."

"Voices?"

"Yes," he gasped. "The First Order and—"

"I never believed them."

"What?" Ben asked, his eyes still frightened.

"When my classmates said you were in the First Order," she stated, blandly, "that you were a killer. I didn't believe them. I stood up for you."

"Morrigan."

"And you lied to me. To Jade. You and Mama both."

"No, we—"

"You lied to us," she repeated. He reached out and she stepped back, the look on his face turning into something even more pitiful. "Why?"

Ben dropped his arm and swallowed, seeming to slump even further into himself.

"I was selfish," he admitted. "Selfish and scared."

Morrigan had never seen her Papa scared in her life and tried to imagine it. It must look similar to how he looked at the moment, she realized. It was a distressing sight. Neither moved for several moments, Ben waiting and Morrigan thinking. She had always known her parents must have had lives before she or her sister were born—probably full and complicated lives. But she had never considered something like this even when she overheard the rumors or teasing whispers of her classmates. Did it change everything?

She glanced over her shoulder and saw the silhouette of her mother and sister in the distance. Morrigan wondered what her sister must have been thinking and wished, not for the first time, to have the Force herself so that they could share their thoughts. But Jade, for all her confidence and easy manner, was still younger and needed her elder sister to help guide her. She sighed and turned back to her father.

"I don't hate you," she said. Ben flinched as hope slowly spread over his pale face. "But I need time."

"I know."

"And I'm still...overwhelmed."

Ben stood up slowly, his gaze steady on his eldest daughter's face.

"If you and Jade need me to," he said softly, "I'll leave."

"Forever?" Morrigan gasped, startled.

A small, crooked smile quirked on her father's face.

"No, sweetheart," he replied gently, "not unless you want me to."

"No, never. No matter what."

This time, when he reached out his hand, she didn't hesitate and took it in her own smaller one. She tried to smile as the sounds of her sister's cries reached them.


End file.
